piece of cake

hard to learn the rudiments of keeping relationships.with criteria set at unconditional level, who wouldn’t go to great lengths just to express how much they care. but such bar is …most of the time tough to achieve. unconditional  yeah unconditional.

heart does feel tired too.

people do express and sometimes become creative just to bring forth happiness, to flatter the recipient. Of course who wouldn’t love to receive, it feels great. but i am wondering why does some receipient don’t return back the favor, since they exprienced it gives a special feeling inside.

maybe, though the effort is there, it is not enough to impress them.

c’mon be gracious.

if you are feeling this way..then you are driving in a one way street.

sorry but i can’t persevere…got a long journey ahead. I am heading back to the highway. it may be busy but at least i am back to reality..that life is a big traffic.

green light is on…on to my next crusade.

goodbye for now.

p.s.i will bid hello if i meet you in the avenue but not in the narrow alley.

for the past years, i frontrunned a crusade that promotes singleness, and that marriage is not for everybody. i thought that having my job as the love of my life would be enough to get by. till i got hit by the meteor of loneliness, i turned my back and sailed with a different view.

my bestfriend struck me when she said that we just discovered the human need to belong, belong to someone to call our own. isnt it nice to knowhyou have someone waiting for you.

that very instant i phoned her. funny how will we satisfy this need when we dont expose ourselves that much. we remembered a line in a song: pity those who wait, trusting love to fate. then resolved that we got to work to find love.

what if we just stick together and love. no! bad idea. then she is right. this is our karmic punishment. karma…maybe not.   

my family is mourning over the death of my grandmother, Paz Lorilla Dionaldo. we will surely miss her. 

lola pacing’s house is the sanctuary or, to my cousins’, a prison for deliquent anak. hehehehe sori ate anna. of the eight apos she got, i stayed in the ancestral house the longest. not that i am the most stubborn but i felt, at an early age of 4, at home staying there. till now every vacation i still stay there.

as a toddler my lola taught me to pray the angelus and hail holy queen in latin. she would tag me along whenever she will say prayers for the dead in our neighborhood. she was my constant companion in the church.

lola do play favorites. kuya allan being the eldest apo is the apple of her eye. i remember when lolo died 1985, lola was crying and calling on kuya’s name during the interment. so when we got back home, she was the center of our jokes. still she denied she has a favorite. when aunt daling died eleven years after, we kidded her never to mention kuya’s name again, she promised she won’t. as we lay my aunt’s coffin in the tomb, we were all crying suddenly we burst into laughter… lola called on kuya’s name again. people were left wondering what was the fuzz all about. this is a classic family story, that we keep on remembering whenever we have gatherings.

áhhh another lola’s classic story. every new year’s eve the whole dionaldo clan gathers in my lola’s house and our new year kicks off with a prayer led by her. Lola would always warn my dad and siblings never to bring fireworks. so my dad would keep it in a place where she won’t find it. moreover, as the whole world is enjoying the turn of the new year with all the blast and noise, the dionaldo clan is in silence saying a thanksgiving prayer. too many new year eves we have asked her to pray early but she insists. only lately when i was tasked to lead the prayer, we say it an hour before midnight.

my lola got a sharp memory about all her eight apos. she knows most of our stories’, which guests enjoy during gatherings.

i will surely miss her requests for kisses. cadbury chocolates without nuts, ice cream, jollibee and mcdonald’s… she loves peach mango pie too much. i will miss her voice asking me why do i have to work abroad. i feel guilty co’z last month i talked with her and i joked that i am coming home in the next two days. no more new year thanksgiving prayer with her.

sad i wasn’t at her side when she left but i am happy for her. and here is the secret: lola do have a favorite… it is me. sabi ni lola yun sa akin.

wherever you are lola…i will miss you. d ka na nakahintay sa amin nila ate. see you in heaven.